Ponderables

I think ponderables are amusing. I think I should share a few. Enjoy!

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why does lemon juice contain mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Who exactly are THEY? And, why do THEY know so much?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

OK, so what is the speed of dark?

Ever wonder why we drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?